Honouring Dads

Welcome to the first day of Spring. I hope you’ve had a good week. I was at our beach house this weekend and although the wind was chilly it was lovely to see some sunshine. We’re renovating the bathroom and I was very pleased with myself that I organised a plumber and an electrician to come and have a look at the job on Sunday. Much to my husband’s amazement they actually showed up!  I did have a word with the Angels of Bathroom Renovations to ensure it all happens with grace and ease so thank you Angels.

Bathroom renovations are a minor issue, though, in relation to the news I heard on the way home from Rye.  A friend messaged me to say that Wayne Dyer had passed away. I was shocked. As I said last week, Harry and I went to Wayne’s seminar last weekend.  He held a room of a 1000 people captivated for two days without missing a beat! He spent the weekend telling us that we exist beyond death; that we are not our body or our mind but we are love and light.  Our soul is eternal and according to Anita Moorjani, who shared the stage with Wayne, there are only two reasons we die. One is when we have completed our work on the planet and we have fulfilled our life purpose, the second reason is when we can be of more assistance from the other side. We can spread our light further and help in more powerful ways.

Wayne has certainly fulfilled his life purpose. He was a prolific writer and has written over 40 books, every one of them containing profound wisdom. He taught all over the world and has change countless lives in amazing ways.  I’m sure his light will continue to shine far and wide.

Wayne was the father of eight children and was clearly very loved by them. Which brings me to the topic of Fathers’ Day.  If you’re a father then I’d like to wish you a happy Fathers’ Day this Sunday. Being a parent is an amazing experience but these days it can be quite a tough gig being a Dad. As gender roles shift Dad’s are now expected to be all things to all people. They’re now expected to take equal responsibility for childcare and domestic chores, but they are still often expected to succeed in the workplace and provide financially for the family. Let’s be honest, it’s a rare thing for a Dad to stay home with the kids while Mum works full time and is the sole provider.

Men now also need to be Sensitive New-Age Guys (SNAGS) and share their emotions with their partners, they need to be good listeners rather than jumping in with solutions and they also need to take time out to manage their stress and take care of their health. I’m exhausted just thinking about it.  My dad worked long hours, mowed the lawns, did the home maintenance, took out the rubbish and piggy-backed us to bed. I’m not saying we should go back to that stereotype but I am saying that life is complicated for men now.

Before Harry and I had children we certainly intended to share the parenting and working 50-50. The problem is that in the early days, as a new mum I naturally spent more time with my baby and got to know her well. I understood her little signals of tiredness or hunger and I learned, through hours of practice, how to comfort and settle her. When her Dad came home at the end of the day I would ask for help and he would do his best to bath, or burp, or play with his baby.  But 90% of the time he didn’t do it the way I would. He didn’t know her as well as I did. I’m ashamed to confess that there were times I would roll my eyes and sigh, taking the baby from him because he didn’t really know what he’s doing.

I dare say the same often applies when Dad’s cook a meal, or clean the kitchen, or do a load of washing.  If it’s not done “right” we think that we might as well do it ourselves.  We’ll tell our girlfriends what funny or hopeless things our partner has done, or not done, on the home front.  So what will most men do when they’re not good at doing something?  They stop doing it.  Then we complain that they never help!  Hmmm.

So today I want to apologise for the all the times I criticised, undermined or disempowered my husband. He was actually fantastic with our kids when they were little if I wasn’t around interfering. And he does a far better job than me in the kitchen and the laundry.

I just want to acknowledge the tough role men now have as the balance shifts. They still suffer more from stress, they die younger and they experience more loneliness even if they’re in a relationship. I recently watched I video of Emma Watson’s address to the UN on gender equality. Emma played Hermione in the Harry Potter movies.  She was appointed as a Goodwill Ambassador for UN Women and her speech is amazing.  You can watch it HERE

According to Emma, “When men suffer from mental illness they fear that talking about it will make them less of a man. They’re made fragile and insecure by a distorted sense of what constitutes male success… Suicide is the biggest killer of men aged 20 to 49.” We still have a long way to go before we have gender equality, in fact no country on the planet has yet achieved true gender equality and it’s obviously not just women that are disadvantaged by it.

Emma advocates that we need to give men “permission to be vulnerable and human too. Reclaim those parts of themselves they abandoned and in doing so be a more true and complete version of themselves.”  Kara Kovacs, one of our Practitioners, is very skilled at helping men live authentically from the heart and learn to be vulnerable. We call her The Queen of Hearts.

So let’s honour the men in our life, whether they are fathers, sons or brothers, and whether they have lived up to our expectations or not. Remember that we’re all doing the best they know how to do and that we all flourish with love, acceptance, respect and support, even Dads.

On a more esoteric note, many ancient cultures predicted that when the masculine and feminine energies on the planet are truly in balance we will enter into a Golden Age of peace and enlightenment. Now that s something to look forward to.

By the way, if you are wondering what to give Dad for Father’s Day you can always send him to us for a nurturing massage and sauna (we have ONLINE GIFT VOUCHERS) or grab an inspiring book or make an appointment with Kara.  You might even like to bring him along to our HOLISTIC EXPO this Saturday. Take a look at the right hand column for details.

A couple of other things before I go…
Kindred Spirits this week we are exploring Past Lives. It’s at 10.30am on Thursday. I will take you on a guided journey to experience a past life. This is always a fascinating process. Cost is $20.

Geraldine Teggelove is running a half day Seminar this Saturday and next Saturday at The Tudor in Box Hill. We are really pleased to support Geraldine in her amazing work so please take a look at the link and forward it to anyone you link may benefit. CLICK HERE

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Have a fabulous, happy, healthy week and a lovely Father’s Day,
Warm Regards,
Alison Burton

Simply Natural Therapies
41 Tunstall Square
East Doncaster
VIC 3109
03 9842 7033