I hope you’ve had a good start to the school year. If you have preppies that have just started school I hope it’s all going smoothly. I remember when my first child started school. It felt very scary sending her off into the big wide world. I needed more comforting and reassurance than she did on the day. She coped well and come out the other end of the education system without too many scars, that I know of. She’s now stressing over leaving her own child at Day Care.
I know school is not easy for many children and one concern of parents is about whether their child will suffer bullying. A colleague and friend, Debbie Rossi, recently published a book about bullying called “Beyond the Schoolyard.” In her book Debbie shares her experience of being bullied at school and the fact that her own trauma was reactivated when her first child started school. Walking back into a school, after all those years, triggered her bad memories and she realised she had to clear them so that she didn’t pass them on to her own children. In her book Debbie gives some great techniques to do this and she also shares strategies for parents on how to raise resilient children.
Today I want to share with you two powerful processes. One is my favourite Hypnotherapy techniques for adults to clear past traumatic memories and the other is to help children build resilience and protect their self-confidence.
The technique I use often with adults is to simply help them rewrite the story’s from their past. It’s surprisingly simple and easy to do and it can make a really big difference to how you feel about an event or anything that remind you of that event. It can also make a huge difference to how to feel about yourself. What I typically say to clients is that the past doesn’t exist anymore, it’s just a collection of stories recorded in the mind the way that they were perceived at the time. That perception is not necessarily accurate or helpful.
Recent research has shown that our memories are not set in stone, they are more like recordings on a video tape. Every time you remember something you’re creating a new recording over the tape. It may be almost the same, it may be a little bit worse or it may be a little bit better. Our recollection of the event changes over time and we often re-traumatise ourselves over and over again by repeatedly remembering a story and recreating a bad feeling.
I’d like to encourage you to try a little mental experiment. Think of a story from your past that feels stressful or has some negative emotion. Now close your eyes and imagine that you can watch that story from a distance and decide how you would like to make it different. This is your imagination at work so you can be as creative as you like. You don’t have to worry about being nice and polite, or socially acceptable, you just need to change the story somehow so that you are empowered, confident, safe and strong. Imagine seeing yourself doing and saying and experiencing everything that you would like to if you had your time again. Imagine you have all the confidence, support, assertiveness and awareness that you need to feel good in the story.
Now once you’ve changed the details and you can see that it’s safe, imagine stepping into the new story, being in your body and going through the new story from start to finish. Re-record it in your mind. Add all the details. See, hear, smell and feel the new event as vividly as you can. Hear yourself saying the new words and seeing things differently. Claim back your power and notice how it feels in your body. You may want to repeat this a few times until it feels really good.
Once you’ve done this exercise, think about the original story and notice that it will now feel very different to before. You’ll probably notice that your body doesn’t feel bad anymore. Your stomach doesn’t flip or your chest doesn’t feel tight. That you feel calmer and more detached when you think about it. You can try this on every old negative story. It’s sometimes good to get some help from a professional to work through the really big traumas safely but you can do a lot for yourself. I would love your feedback on this exercise so please feel free to email me.
This is one of the processes included in our “Stress to Serenity 8 Week Course” which is starting soon.
Now, the other technique I want to let you know about today is called SleepTalk for Children. It’s a way of speaking to your child while they’re sleeping that creates changes in the subconscious to help them manage stress and protect their self-esteem. I used SleepTalk with my children and had quite remarkable results. You can read about my experience with my son when he was ten HERE
I’ve taught hundreds of parents how to use SleepTalk with wondering results. I recall a mum whose 4 year old was so distressed every time she left for work that he would cling to her at the front door and cry to the point of vomiting. After only two or three weeks of SleepTalk she rang me and said that her son was now happily walking her to the door, giving her a kiss goodbye and saying “Bye Mum, have a good time at work.” That’s just one of many miracles I’ve seen this process create. It can be really effective if your child is anxious or resistant to going to school or has any childhood issues like bedwetting, shyness, aggression, ADHD, separation anxiety, difficult behaviour, learning difficulties or health issues.
I’m very pleased to let you know that SleepTalk is finally available online. If you’re interested I suggest download the Ebook and CD which explains everything you need to know to do the process with you child HERE The cost is $85. I also recommend a consultation to fine tune it for your child and get the coaching you need along the way.
So, that’s all for now. Take a look at the Right Hand Column for information about our Chakra Workshop, VIP Pamper Retreat, EFT Workshop, Connect with Your Higher Self Workshop and our Weekly Special in the shop. Remember this Wednesday is WELLNESS WEDNESDAY with 10% to 50% off all shop products. Supplements are excluded. >>>>
Have a happy, healthy week,
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