I hope you’ve had a good week and if you’re a mum then I hope you had a Happy Mother’s Day. My exciting news is that my daughter Michelle had a baby girl on Wednesday last week (an hour after arriving at Box Hill Hospital!) I posted the news on Facebook so you may have seen it already and I’ve told anyone who will stand still long enough to listen. I’m so thrilled for Michelle and Andy. My grandson, Mason, has been a very gentle and loving big brother so far. Marlie Grace is just gorgeous. She is such a precious gift to arrive just before Mother’s Day.
I must confess that I always find Mother’s Day a little tricky. People tend to enthusiastically wish every woman they come into contact with, “Happy Mother’s Day”. Well, this is fine if the women actually is a mother. And it’s fine if she’s a happy mother, but Mother’s Day can raise a whole smorgasbord of issues for women and children.
I remember the first Mother’s Day after my mum passed away. I had a little melt down in the middle of Box Hill Shopping Centre. I was feeling quite fragile and was overwhelmed by all the posters in the shop windows telling me to show my mum how much I loved her. It was just as difficult the following year when I actually was a new mum and I soooo wanted my own mother to be there to support me as I started my parenting journey. At the time I was a working (and living) as a foster mum to four teenagers. These teens had either lost their mums, been taken from their mums or relinquished by them. Mother’s Day was not such a happy day for these kids.
On Mother’s Day I’m also reminded of the Mums who have lost children and the women who would dearly love to be mums, or Grandmothers, but can’t. I feel so very blessed and grateful for my three children and two beautiful grandchildren and I do my best not to take anything for granted.
This week I was going to write about all the issues to do with mothering but my daughter posted something on Facebook that I found incredibly powerful and moving that says it all….
“To those who gave birth to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers – we grieve with you
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children – we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent – we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren -yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
To those who placed children up for adoption — we commend you for your selflessness and remember how you hold that child in your heart
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.“
By Amy Young (or based on her writing)
Makes you stop and think hey? If Mother’s Day (or Amy’s words) have raised some issues for you then it’s a really good time to find the support you need to work through them. You might be able to hide them away from year to year but old hurts can eat away at you under the surface, block you fully enjoying life eventually effect your health. Its definitely not a good idea to tuck them away til next Mother’s Day.
My friend, Judy Taylor, wrote a book recently called “Mum Moments – journey through grief.” Her book and her Facebook Page are a wonderful support to anyone grieving the loss of their Mum. We have copies of Judy’s book in our shop at Tunstall Square.
Now, I’ve also worked with many women with depression, anxiety or addictions who discovered that the underlying cause was an issue with their mother or an issue with being a mother. One woman I worked for weight loss realised that she was still carrying enormous guilt and grief about a termination she’d had thirty years ago. She had believed since then that she was a bad person and pushed the feeling down with food.
So even if issues are very old and entrenched it’s still possible to heal them with surprising ease. Gone are the days of needing 10 years of Freudian Psychoanalysis. The evolution of new Energy Therapies means that healing negative emotions, trauma and limiting beliefs can happen very quickly. Many years after my own Mum passed away I had an amazing Reiki session that profoundly shifted the grief I was holding on to, and physical pain that it was causing. You can read that story HERE.
Techniques like Energy Healing, Emotional Freedom Technique, Belief Busting with PsychK and Hypnotherapy can all help clear grief and guilt about those old stories and allow you to make peace with the past or heal current relationships.
Something else that can support healing of Mother – Daughter issues and enmeshed family patterns is an Australian Bush Flower Essence called Boab. This is a homeopathic remedy that works at the emotional, mental and energetic level. The recommended dose is 4 drops, twice a day for 2 weeks. I’ve seen and experienced wonderful results with these remedies. Boab, and the full range of Bush and Bach Flower Essences are available in our shop.
By the way, this Saturday we have a Workshop specifically for Mums-To-Be using Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to clear any stress around pregnancy, birth and parenting. CLICK HERE for more info or to book online.
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That’s all for now. Have a great week,
pioneering the future of healthcare